Things you need:
1 package instant ramen (Top, Maruchan, Sopporo Ichiban, whatever)
1 squeezy bottle ranch dressing
1 bottle imitation bacon crumbles
Things you do:
a) fondle the ramen - open package, break ramen block into 4 evenlyish sized chunks. put in bowl. cover with very hot tap water for 3 minutes. the gooshier you like your noodles, the hatta the watta. i like tap water hot because it leaves the noodles a little firmer than they should be but chewy resitance is your friend.
2) after 3 minutes pour the water out. the noodlebits will be too small for a proper strainer so just put a fork to the side of the bowl to catch the bits. dump as much water as you can without sacrificing too much from noodle overflow. go back in time and pick another bowl if the one you have has too much booty and holds a lot of water. it'll get runny. tho if you like runny, go nuts, make soup out of this.
lastly) squirt ranch onto noodles. dump baco-bits on noodles. stir. like all ramen dishes, serve it quickly before you have time to think on what you're doing to your body.
E) clean up your one bowl and fork. not much work and you don't want a messy hovel.